He Stopped Loving Her Today

My Mother (Tina van Engen) and Father Nick Moraal circa 1960

This happy photo was taken about the time my parents were dating.  I am not even a distant thought being the youngest of five.  They were happy in this photo and I believe they loved each other.  How could I even begin to describe his emotional life and I suppose I won't even try.  Though he and I talked about this period in his life sometimes at his insistence and more than I would have liked.  He loved her to the point that he never loved any other woman as much even though their marriage ended in divorce in 1987.  Right or wrong he never truly let her go.

I believe there is only one song that we often sung together that truly fits his circumstance.  We often sang it as a bit of play on his broken heart.  Funny because the words of the song were true.  He could joke about anything.

  Being that my father had heart disease we often jested about his ultimate demise.  This might sound cruel to the observer, but that's what our relationship was like.  When he was in the hospital with his first by-pass surgery more than twenty five years ago he was a joke a minute.  He joked about the pain in his chest.  It was his way.  He said that the only way to cure this pain was to drop something on his foot so he'd be distracted from the pain around his heart.

We'll I suppose I caused him some pain in his life, but I can't see it being enough to distract him from his broken heart.  So Dad if my views on your life and your divorce from Mom hurt you a little I am sorry.  And not that I wish to have, but maybe if it distracted from your deepest hurts I might have helped you.  I wish I could have made you understand that life goes on if we choose to, but I can't judge you for not letting her go.

Dad I am singing with you...